I Lost A Student

I lost a student.

He graduated high school, attended his last lesson with me, performed his senior recital, and is now no longer a student of mine.

But it’s not as simple as that.

Each student that walks through my door is a person. I always remember that. They’re a small person, usually, a person with little life experience, but a REAL person nontheless: a child. I teach children because I love how much they learn and how they can love music with a purity that is rarely found in most adults. But because I teach children, there is always the knowledge that inevitably they will one day leave to bigger and better things in the big adult world.

In my years of teaching, I have seen dozens, possibly even hundreds, of students enter my music studio and exit, some after a few years, some after many years. Some quit when they reach high school. Some quit because they would rather focus on another instrument. Some quit because they want to focus on their social or academic or sports life. Some quit because they don’t care for guitar anymore. Some quit because they are simply graduating from high school and moving on. But they all do quit at some point.

I don’t do well with transitions. I always care deeply about the vast majority of children I teach (there have been a FEW students who have made my life as a teacher horrible, but they are usually gone fairly quickly), so every time a student finishes their time with me, there is pain as my heart lets them go, as every good teacher does.

And that’s usually the end.

But not every time.

His name is Colin.

Usually I use a different name for the students I talk about here on this blog, because they’re underage and I don’t have permission to use their names, but this time I’m sharing his real name, because I think that some day you folks out there are going to hear of him. He is a musician. A good one. And he’s got the potential to be a really great musician one day because he puts his soul into what he plays and sings and he sincerely wants to grow into the best kind of musician he can become.

A year ago I was stunned to realize that he was seventeen.

Didn’t he just start lessons with me as a 6th grader? Wasn’t it just the other day that he was wearing his black hoodie to every lesson, keeping his eyes down and refusing to talk? No… now there is a tall young man in the chair, playing his own compositions confidently with a fire that I never would have guessed was in the heart of that silent little boy.

After winter break we began planning for his senior recital.

I saw the end coming.

These have not been easy years. If Colin reads this, he won’t say it’s not true; I was very close to asking another teacher to take him as a student instead of me, multiple times, because there were lessons when I was utterly frustrated with him. We had major rough spots. During the first year of lessons he didn’t speak a word to me. There were weeks of not practicing what I assigned, days of me trying to urge him to learn a new skill or concept, lessons of moodiness and struggle, and just feeling like I was hitting a brick wall.

But in spite of all this, the honest answer is that I was learning just as many lessons from Colin as he was learning from me. Being his instructor taught me things that made me grow.

How to turn a comment into a positive critique instead of a negative remark.

How to teach someone who learns almost entirely by ear how to read music.

How to push someone out of their comfort zone just enough to grow, but not enough to drive them away.

How to take a deep breath and focus on the music instead of becoming angry when a student is being stubborn.

How to explain a music theory concept four different ways because the first way didn’t click.

How to not take it personally when a student is snippy or silent during a lesson, because you don’t know what they’ve been going through.

How to know when to be gentle in your correction and when to roar in your backlash against musical mistakes.

How to help each student find their own niche of interest in music, even if it takes you completely out of your comfort zone (Colin is the only person I’ve seen who can rap Eminem songs while playing classical guitar….).

And most importantly, how sometimes the best thing you can do for a student is to simply be there for them. They show up at their lesson; you show up as their teacher. Maybe some days you don’t feel like anything musically productive was accomplished. But maybe all they needed that day was to know that you were still there, not giving up on them, still hoping for the best and pushing them to become better.

Then maybe one day you’ll find that the young student you never would have guessed would make it this far is suddenly almost an adult, and you are in the spring semester of his final months of lessons, and now you’re just wishing you had more time.

And now he’s turning eighteen, graduating high school.

And it’s his final lesson.

You remember that you told him at guitar camp when he was fourteen that he should smile more often, because it transforms his face completely and he would be able to make friends more easily. Now he smiles all the time. Although he’s still a pretty serious guy. That’s okay… at least there’s more of a balance now than there was years ago.

He remembers that you taught him to palm mute bass lines and forced him to learn chords for an ensemble piece involving blues. You have barely any recollection of that. It’s fascinating to find what sticks out in one person’s mind, but not another’s.

You go to the sound check for his senior recital. He’s not used to singing with a microphone. You fiddle with amplifiers and mic stands. It has to be just right. Or at least as close to just right as possible.

You feel nervous on the day of the recital. He looks nervous too, but you both know it will be fine. Probably. Hopefully.

Over eighty people come to see him play classical guitar pieces, his own compositions, and cover songs. The audience cheers and claps. He makes a few mistakes, works through them, improvises a little, recovers, keeps going.

Then it’s over.

Everyone loved it.

And that’s the end.

He is no longer my student. No more lessons, no more time. This is the moment of separation that each teacher prepares for.

Except that afterwards, he gives me a hug and says, “Thank you for being my teacher. Now this is the beginning of a new era. I’m going to be a musician; I’m going to keep studying music. Now we can be friends.”

My eyes are already tear-filled with the emotion of letting go.

“Are you kidding?” he says. “I’m not going to forget my guitar teacher! Of course I still want you around. I’m going to play at coffee shops and things. And I’m going to study music. This isn’t goodbye.”

And with those words, I am invited back in.

I lost a student.

But it looks like I’ve gained a friend.

And more importantly, the world has gained another awesome musician, one whom I’m proud to call a fellow guitarist, who I’m sure will one day make a name for himself. Look out for Colin, world.


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As part of Write Alm’s November Prompts, I saw that today’s prompt is: Harmony!

My daughter, Harmony, is now almost twenty-nine months old, or close to two and a half years. I’ve already posted about what our daily life looks like as home-schoolers, so here are more details of what we’re currently doing. It’s important for me to document what we’re doing as I study how children learn and what environment they learn best in, as well as understand better who my own child is and how she learns!

Harmony LOVES doing what I call “school”: projects with me or Chris that involve colors, numbers, letters, words, etc. Her favorite thing is for us to lightly write letters or words on a piece of paper so she can use a marker or pencil and trace over them. Also fun is color sorting, finger-painting, tracing/naming shapes, and spotting the differences in pictures on worksheets. Part of the fun is that she gets one-on-one time with us, and part of it is that she likes challenging herself to learn and focus. She will ask to do “school” with us.


We do allow limited use of technology now for Harmony. Almost every day she either watches a Richard Scarry Alphabet dvd or the Numbers dvd. They are twenty minutes long, sweetly done with music and singing and fun repetition that she adores. Sometimes she’ll watch an episode of Magic School Bus. She also likes to play an alphabet game that we downloaded for free on our iPad. It allows her to trace letters and words with her finger, explore pronunciations of letters, see pictures representing letters, and practice beginning spelling. We also listen to a lot of Bible songs on the radio or My Little Pony songs on Youtube. She requests music every day.

Harmony is truly having a good time with writing! She recognizes all her letters and likes to trace them. She also seems to be teaching herself basic words to read, recognizing certain words in her books and ones that we write for her to trace. This is NOT something we have pushed her to do. Writing is something that I love; she sees me do it often, and she’ll ask to “write letters too” with mama at the dining room table while I write a letter or in my journal!


We read an incredible amount of books together, too, which contributes to both of our love for words. I try to read different genres and levels of books: picture books for imagination, “educational” books about colors/seasons/shapes/etc., story books, introductory fairy tales, old classics such as Peter Rabbit, poetry for children, nursery rhymes, and science books (her favorite is the Magic School Bus book about honey bees). She is also memorizing songs and rhymes that she likes.


I will sometimes suggest activities for her to do, or ask if she’d like me to read to her, and follow her direction. If she says “no” to something I volunteer, I don’t force it. If she agrees, then we spend time together doing the activity until I can tell she is getting tired of it. If she seems bored, I’ll suggest something else.


She is learning how to play more independently, which is good too because I don’t want her to think that I am there to constantly entertain her! She is ALWAYS welcome to help with chores around the house. This week she:

~ Made pumpkin pie with me

~ Made her scrambled eggs for lunch with my help

~ Washed potatoes and peeled garlic for soup

~ Swept with her little broom while I swept

~ Learned how to rinse dishes off to put in the dishwasher

~ Put away the tupperware and silverware from the clean dishes

~ Sorted dirty laundry into piles for washing

~ Picked up her toys in the den

~ Made her bed

~ Took the sheets and blankets off our beds for washing

~ Helped daddy rake and pick up all the leaves in the front and back yards

~ Wiped off the dining room table with a washcloth

~ Helped with grocery shopping


I ask her if she’d like to help, and when she says “yes”, I give her a job to do. If she doesn’t want to help me, that’s fine, but I expect her to not hinder me or whine while I try to get my work done! Sometimes she chooses to go look at books by herself or play in her room while I work.

Not everything we do is “educational”. I try not to turn every moment into a lesson of some kind. We are not in a rush for Harmony to do academics if she doesn’t want to or for her to be measured with some kind of standardized achievement test.

As humans, we’re learning and growing all the time, whether academically, or in our character, or our personality, or socially, or in a specific skill, but sometimes we are just having fun or relaxing! Just like I enjoy sitting on the couch chilling with a movie, Harmony likes to watch Clifford occasionally, or we’ll go play at the park for hours, or we’ll walk to the local bakery for a cookie. Play is one of the most important things a child can do!





Much of what she does during the day is her choice. It’s a constant time of learning for us as parents and teachers, as well. We are teaching her that she needs to follow our directions when we do give them, such as getting her diaper changed so that she doesn’t get a rash (we’re potty-training, but not rushing it!), not chasing the cat, not leaping off the chairs, washing her hands after she uses the bathroom, and other similar things. Yet we want her to learn self-discipline, freedom, and independence, so we try to avoid ordering her around or needlessly saying “no”.

Ultimately, we want her childhood to be full of joy, play, curiosity, love, discovery, and wonder!

For more details on why play is so important for children, check out the great writing of Teacher Tom.

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The Story of Joseph: the Boy Who Ran Away from School


“Where were you on Monday night? You missed ensemble rehearsal,” I asked Joseph* as he walked in for his lesson on Thursday night. “Oh…” he looked flustered. “Um… I had homework. Lots of homework.”

I sat down to tune the guitar he handed me, puzzling over his response. I’ve known Joseph since he was seven years old, so at fourteen, I usually know when he’s not quite telling the truth. He had informed me last month that he completed the majority of his homework assignments in study hall, or during class, which meant that he rarely had homework to do after school. But I could see that he was embarrassed about something; I dropped the issue and turned to his music.

As the lesson was ending, I said, “Now do be sure to come to rehearsal this next Monday. We really need the entire group there all the time to have an effective practice.” Joseph nodded, and I handed him his music book, expecting him to pack his guitar up and leave.

He hesitated. “Hey…. I didn’t really have homework on Monday.” He was looking at the ground, red-faced behind his glasses. I stopped mentally preparing for the next student and focused on him. Something was wrong. “What happened?” I asked.

Joseph sighed. “I was in trouble. I left school early that day without telling anyone. I had an awful day. School has always seemed pointless, but Monday was the worst it’s ever been. Three different teachers yelled at me, the work they made us do was dumb, and I couldn’t stand being there any longer. So rather than go to my last class where I knew the teacher I hate the most would yell at me too, I just left the school and walked home. My friend saw me leave and he came with me.”

“Then what happened?”

“The school caught us leaving on security cameras, so they called my dad at work. He came home and found us playing video games. And everything kind of exploded from there.” Joseph looked up at me for the first time, defensively. “You would have left school too! I couldn’t take it. I hate it.”

I didn’t know what to say. Finally, I managed, “I’m guessing you were in trouble at home on Monday evening, which is why you couldn’t come to rehearsal.”

“Yeah.” Joseph lowered his gaze again. “And I was suspended for a long time.” “How long?” “A week.”

“A WEEK?” I gasped. “For leaving school one hour early?”

“Well, the principal told me that I probably would have been suspended for just a day. But when my dad brought me back to the school to apologize that afternoon when I’d left, I told the principal exactly what I thought about his school, and my teachers who don’t teach me anything useful, and the stupid homework, and the stupid classes. I just got it all off my chest. The principal was super mad at what I said and my attitude. That’s why he kicked me out for a week.”

I stared at Joseph. Surely this couldn’t be the same Joseph the principal had suspended. I saw a competent, attentive, intelligent student every week who absolutely loved music. He brought a sharp wit and humorous outlook on life to his lessons, yet I was often struck with his deep, sensitive way of thinking. He was always calm, but I knew he had strong views about education, creative writing, good music, and movies. He seemed well-balanced with spending time indoors playing video games with friends and skate-boarding outdoors. He was very dedicated to guitar, even recently growing out his right-hand nails, despite digs from his buddies, in order to get a better sound with his guitar tone. He and his dad were always playing guitar and drums together. I looked forward to his lessons every week.

“Anyway… I wanted to tell you what actually happened,” Joseph mumbled.

“Thank you.” I watched him put his guitar in its case, pondering what to say. “Joseph, while I do sympathize with your feelings about being treated like just another dumb kid at school, of course I can’t condone your actions or behavior with the authority you’re supposed to answer to there.”

“That’s okay,” Joseph grinned a little, but I could see that his eyes were sad. “I won’t run away again. They can keep me there. They just can’t make me like it.”

*Joseph’s real name has been changed.


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When I Say Goodbye for the Last Time

It always hurts when a guitar student quits.

No matter how much I prepare myself, knowing that eventually every single student will move on, there is still a sting when they have their final lesson.

Some students are so full of relief that they will be done with the music lessons which they never connected with that you can see the “thank goodness I’m free!” look in their eyes. These are the children whose parents were urging them to play guitar even though the child had no interest in it. No matter how hard a teacher tries to engage them, guitar is just not what they want to play.

Other students are downcast when they leave. Several students have been teary-eyed as they packed up their guitars for the last time. The reasons for ending their lessons with me are many: moving out of state, graduating high school, busy schedule forcing them to choose a new teacher at a different time, etc. Many will still continue to play guitar in some way. Yet they are still disappointed to be leaving.

Whether they are happy or sad to be finishing their time studying music with me, I feel regret. Not egoic regret, where I am only thinking about having one less paycheck per month, or one less student on my roster, but regret that I will no longer see their lovely faces every week; regret that I will not have the privilege of watching them grow; regret that I will no longer be part of their musical experiences.

What lessens the sting of parting is the hope that they have taken something away from their time with me that will benefit them in the future, even if I never see exactly what it might be or how what they learned will affect them. It may not even be music-related. It may be that they never pick up their guitar again. They might use what they learned to branch out and play another instrument, or a different genre of music. Or they might pick up their guitar in sixty years and fondly remember “When the Saints Go Marching In” or pick out the notes to “Silent Night” at Christmas time, surrounded by grandchildren.

At the beginning of this month one of my students had her last lesson. I cried. I think she did too, a little. She will continue to play guitar, so I look forward to hearing her again at some point, and I know that music will always be part of her life. She gave me a beautiful piece of art that she made based on her own beloved guitar. It is hanging on the wall in my home now as a remembrance of the love we share for music.

This week one of my students had his last lesson. He was quiet, as usual, among the rest of his louder classmates, so nobody else noticed any difference in him, but at the end he looked up at me and his expression tore at my heart. He did not want to leave and was not embarrassed to show it. We had to say goodbye anyway. He will be continuing to study guitar elsewhere, and I wished him the best with a smile as he departed even though on the inside I was sad.

Last night one of my students had his last lesson. As we talked, I could see how much he has grown; he has been my student for six years and is now old enough to drive. Our time together has been full of ups and downs, but through the moments of frustration we have found ways to come back to the music. Right before he left, he said, “You told me a while ago: ‘you can be a terrible guitar student, but you are a great person’. I appreciate that, and I’ll always remember it.” It surprised me that of all the things we discussed and studied for six years, that was what he chose to focus on most of all. Maybe that’s what he needed to learn, that no matter what his ability or lack of ability in something was, that it would not change his worth as a person.

When a student walks into their first guitar lesson I have to begin preparing myself for the time when they will walk out of their last. It’s not easy. But it’s beautiful to be part, even in a small of way, of these children’s lives and musical development. No matter how many students I end up teaching over the years, I hope to always see each child as an individual, special person, and look forward to seeing them become not just a skilled musician, but a wonderful person as they grow and change.


The artwork that my student created

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Day in the Life: 1st Annual Not-Back-to-School Week!

This is our first “official” not-back-to-school year as a home-schooling family! Harmony is two years and two months old, and we have been planning on home-schooling for a long time.

Our family is a little out-of-the-ordinary because my husband and I work jobs at weird hours. He, Chris, is an employee at a local grocery store, where his work hours change every week and range from six in the morning until ten at night. I am a classical guitarist and classical guitar teacher for children, so I teach lessons Monday through Thursday from approximately four to eight o’clock, along with attending or performing other music events during the week. We’re very blessed to have income and be able to take turns caring for our daughter. My sister, Em, who lives with us and my mom who lives nearby also help with babysitting, usually once a week. Plus, since my mother home-schooled my sister and I all the way through high school, we know that they will be fully supportive of our decision to home-school Harmony!

Here is an example of one of our typical days home-schooling. Of course, she is two, so most of what we do is simply try to help her blossom as an individual, build her practical knowledge, gain physical skills, and just ENJOY being a child!


 7:30 a.m.   After a restless early morning, we all finally get up somewhere around this time. Harmony still comes into bed with us around midnight or later (we co-slept until a few months ago), so it’s cozy to curl up together in the big bed. We eat breakfast and Harmony requests “dancing music”. After some trial and error, we find that she means several specific Youtube videos, which I have put into a playlist for her online because she likes to dance and listen to the songs.

8:10 a.m.   A morning romp on the bed where we play hide-and-seek with the pillows and blankets! Chris is off work today, so we will enjoy our time with him.

8:30 a.m.   Chris mows the lawn before it gets too hot, Harmony watches from the safety of the front door, and I jump at the chance to take a quick shower ; )

9:00 a.m.   Harmony and I play with scissors (safety scissors, ya’ll!) and paper, then paint a dollar store sun-catcher. We counted the triangles she accidentally cut from the paper too. At this point, she can count to ten, so we’ve been practicing numbers up to twenty. After getting paint on her fingers she decided that she wanted to play with water in the sink to wash her hands, which turned into rinsing our dirty dishes off.  Sounds good to me!
10:30 a.m.   Harmony and daddy play an alphabet game with the iPad. Our approach to technology with her is based on minimal exposure, as we’d rather have her develop physical, social, and developmental skills aside from technology, but we do allow some interaction. Sometimes she will watch an episode or two of “My Little Pony” or “Magic Schoolbus” in the morning, and she has an alphabet video and a numbers video by Richard Scarry that she likes.
The one thing we do not limit is listening to music! Almost all day long music of some kind is being played in our home, whether from Youtube, iTunes, the radio, the CD player, or live as Chris or I play an instrument. Sometimes Harmony even likes to listen to the soundtrack to Mary Poppins with our headphones (we make sure the volume is low). We also have a growing collection of musical instruments and have made sure that there are enough child-appropriate instruments for Harmony to play as well.

11:00 a.m.   I can tell that she is getting tired of the iPad, so we create our grocery list for the store.
11:15 a.m.   Grocery shopping! Harmony enjoys this weekly trip because she gets a free cookie, which is a special treat : )  We are learning the names of all the items we purchase. Harmony often helps me cook, so she is getting better at knowing the more particular names of fruits and vegetables.

12:00 p.m.   Harmony plays with her ponies by herself or wanders around the house singing while I make lunch. She helps Chris with some chores, too. It’s been easier lately for her to play alone, which is good because for a long time she refused to do anything unless one of us was actively engaged with her. It’s good for her to develop some independence.
12:30 p.m.   Lunchtime.

1:00 p.m.   Reading books is one of her favorite activities. We read some of the books from our collection and some that we rented from the library this week. She insists on eating a carrot while reading “Gregory the Terrible Eater”! This summer she always wanted to eat blueberries when we read “Blueberries for Sal”. We have fun stories and books about the alphabet, calendar, numbers, colors, and seasons. She sings or speaks many of the nursery rhymes along with me. We’re also learning how to hold up numbers on our fingers and play finger games.
1:45 p.m.   Time for a nap! I will often get some writing done during her naptime, answer emails, read, do quiet chores around the house, or prepare dinner. Today Chris and I cleaned out the refrigerator (my most hated task), then I read a book for a bit before beginning to make dinner.

3:15 p.m.   Harmony wakes up to the sound of a storm. She sits with us and we talk about weather for a while. Then she alternates between helping me finish dinner or sitting next to Chris reading books to herself.
4:00 p.m.   Chris and Harmony go into the den to play with her ponies. Her “My Little Pony” figurines are her most beloved toy! She plays with them constantly and carries them with her everywhere. Harmony keeps going to the window to see if it has stopped raining because she wants to play in the puddles!
4:30 p.m.   I leave for work; on the other days I leave at 3:30. While I’m gone, Chris and Harmony watch the rain and lightning out the window, play with other toys, and eat dinner. Once the rain stops, he takes her outside to jump in the puddles for a while.
6:45 p.m.   They come inside to get pajamas on, read more books, and sing songs. Her bedtime is between 8:00 and 8:30.


As an example of how the rest of our week goes, here’s what we have done/will be doing:

Monday – Errands in the morning, chores, and our weekly much-anticipated trip to the library. Harmony loves to come with me and help with the shopping. She also enjoys assisting around the house with our chores. At the library we check out a stack of books and I write down the titles of ones she enjoys so that we can remember to rent them again later.

Tuesday – Usually I will attend a study all morning while Harmony plays in the nursery with other children, but since the study hasn’t started yet we went over to a friend’s house to play. Auntie Em took care of Harmony in the afternoon while I was teaching until Chris came home from work.

Thursday – This morning, we’re going to a field trip at a local fire station with other home-schooling families. The trip is intended for preschool and younger. Afterwards, since Chris is home today (his days off are always random) we’ll spend time with him, and he will do some “school” activities with Harmony in the afternoon after her nap while I’m teaching.

Friday – We will either do some activities in the morning or go play with a friend. Since I don’t teach on Friday, we have more available time. As Harmony gets older, we’re hoping to do something fun in the evening, like play music together as a family or go on a hike.

Saturday – Chris’s family is coming into town, and we’ll most likely do something with them that Harmony would enjoy, like the zoo, or the Japanese Festival happening at the botanical gardens, or the children’s science museum, etc.

So there we have it, folks! Our family’s unique schedule is working well for us. In the future, things might look different, as we either go for more of a formal home-schooling route or more of an unschooling method depending on Harmony’s personality and interests, but for now, it’s all good : )  Happy not-back-to-school week!

Linking up with the 6th Annual “Not” Back-to-School Blog Hop at iHomeschool!

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Changing Education, One Link at a Time

There have been too many interesting articles floating around the web lately for me to just post one at a time, so here are a bunch of them! Unschooling has been getting a lot of interest, lately, so you’ll see plenty of opinions relating to this growing form of education. Let me know your thoughts about anything and everything!

Unschooling: The Case for Setting Your Kids Into the Wild

This Teen Wants to Abolish School as We Know It

Children Need Free Play, But Are “Unschoolers” Giving Them Too Much?

Open Letter to Adults From a Highly Creative Child

Have American Parents Got It All Backwards?

The Truth About Preschool

An Open Letter to My Students In Music School

Ten Things Every New Homeschooler Needs to Know

Self-Regulation: American Schools Are Failing Non-Conformist Kids

Nurturing Children: Why Early Learning Doesn’t Help

Ten Things I’d Change If I Could Have a Homeschool Do-Over

A Homeschool Curriculum for Preschool and Kindergarten

What to Do When Kids Find Their Passion


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The Stories of Josh and Sarah: To Quit or Not to Quit

Sarah* has been a student with me since she was seven. Her musicality is incredible, and she has blossomed into a marvelous young musician who loves to sing and write her own songs, as well as play classical guitar. She spent several years in my ensemble, too, leading the group as one of the best players. I always looked forward to teaching her each week, knowing that she would absorb everything and practice diligently.

This week, out of the blue, she quit lessons.

I should have seen it coming. Her priorities over the past year have been with sports, even though she never neglected playing guitar, and she is getting to the point where she would need to dedicate more time to music in order to continue advancing. Her reason for quitting was that she will be entering high school this fall and didn’t want to spread herself too thin. I respect that kind of decision (she’s always been a straight-A student), but at the same time am still a little disappointed that she chose an all-or-nothing approach.


Josh* has been an up and down student ever since he began lessons with me almost six years ago. Sometimes making great leaps in musical advancement, sometimes dragging his feet (literally) to his lessons, I never know if we will have a good week or a bad week. He has just enough moments of brilliance to keep me hoping for the breakthrough of potential that I and other teachers saw in him. However, for the past year or two, we had bad weeks more often than not. As a seventeen year old who is heavily involved in sports and an academically-rigorous school, his priorities were obviously not with music, yet he still continued to play guitar, even when I wondered why he bothered to show up to lessons unprepared again and again.

Several weeks ago, right before a vacation break in our lesson schedule, I delivered the ultimatum: Josh had to decide whether he truly wanted to continue lessons, which meant that he would have to dedicate time to practicing and progressing, or decide that he wanted to discontinue lessons. I told him that I cannot teach someone who does not want to be taught or put any kind of effort into their playing. Honestly, I believed that he would quit. I met him at the studio tonight for what I thought was going to be his final lesson.

He surprised me.

His solo that we had been working on for several weeks was memorized and sounding better. He admitted that he had been reviewing old repertoire, sight-reading pieces, and playing pop tunes for fun. Even his demeanor was different; he sat up straighter, looking at me with determination in every muscle. After discussing several options, we made a detailed plan to prepare for a senior recital in the springtime, with solos and a duet or two, possibly in conjunction with any other graduating senior students as well.

By the end of the lesson, I was shaking my head in amazement. What happened to him was something that I could not have predicted.


Josh and Sarah taught me a lesson that I keep learning over and over: you can never tell which students will connect with music and stick with it, and which will leave it before the teacher thinks they should. The student themselves is the one ultimately in control of what they choose to learn; the parents can push, and the teacher can urge, but each child chooses his or her own path in the end. Yet, thankfully, each student is affected in some kind of way by their interactions with their teachers and their experience with music, which can influence them in positive ways for the rest of their lives.

*Students names have been changed.

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